What a pathetic example of a human being I am. To put it simply, I basically have no one to share my troubles with. No one to rely on when I am upset. No one to really talk to without fearing that I said something that might upset the other person.

I was harsh towards someone when I should not. Saying that I dislike a person is mean, too straight-forward, and not to mention unfeeling. I am a person who do not talk much. And when I did, the words coming out of my mouth is simply unpleasant. Because, I am certainly not a friendly type of human. However, I always felt guilty after I have said something that I should not. I do hope that he will forgive and forget. This process has been repeating ever since kindergarden. If I get too comfortable with anyone, this will happen, and everything gets worse then before.

Projects as usual is unbearable. When you do not have ideas to contribute, or whatever you said is taken as crap, it's kind of natural that you don't care anymore. If I'm classified as a free-loader yet again, there's nothing I can really do to make it up.

Very sure that people are talking behind my back, or even in front of me. Every single person that I've done project with must have thought that way. Let's say that their attitude and the way they look at me basically tells me eveything. I don't even know if I care about it anymore. I'm numbed emotionally by now.

I want to be alone. I need to be alone. Slience is probably my one and only life-time friend.